Hitman With A Conscience

Written from a Reddit writing prompt, original post here.

Kyle woke up to a throbbing headache and a stale stench of must in the air. It was an unfamiliar scene, a sprawling warehouse, empty and tall, filled only with rusted chains and abandoned cranes. He tried to move his feet, then his arms. After quickly realising that his whole body was completely bound, he wriggled frantically while he tried to let out a panicked scream.

"Ah! You're finally awake," a strange voice greeted him, polite and warm. The man walked into view, unkempt and large bodied. He squatted down by Kyle's side.

"Mff ffm mmmm!" Kyle muffled through duct-taped lips.

"You're gonna have to calm down before I take that off, Kyle. Can't have you screaming the place down, can we?"

Kyle emitted yet more muted wails and flailed his torso in response.

"Anyway... Know why you're here, Kyle?... Someone put a hit on you. I dunno, something about owing Matt... Marvin... Midge? Owing Midge money or something like that, whatever, but he hired me to kill you, see," he paused and winced slightly after his eyes met Kyle's, "but don't look at me with those wide eyes, I ain't a bad guy. Really, I ain't. See I like to give my marks a shot at taking care of unfinished business before they 'move on'. Because I ain't a monster, Kyle... Stop looking at me like that. See, my ma, she brought me up better than that..."

The hitman raised a closed fist to his lips and closed his eyes briefly in a dramatic display of emotion. Then he continued. "So, let me make this right. You get one wish, think of me as your djini for the day... 'til I kill you after, anyway. Now, I'm gonna take that gag off'a you," he took the duct tape carefully in his fingers and began to peel it away gently, "and you're going to tell me your bucket list, Kyle."

"Urrrh!" Kyle gasped as the tape ripped from his sore, red lips, "I wish that you let me go!"

"Ugh," the hit man slapped a hand to his forehead, "how original! Ain't gonna happen. And you need to face that. Come on, Kyle, play nice."

Kyle wriggled with an increasingly more panicked ferocity and began to shriek at the top of his lungs.

"What did I say, Kyle?!" the hitman slapped the discarded duct tape back over Kyle's lips, "okay, if you're not going to help, I'll just have to do some investigation myself..."

Reaching forward, the hitman pulled a mobile phone from Kyle's pocket and swiped at the screen with his thumb. "Hmm, let's see... Okay, that's a lot of selfies, Kyle, Christ... Oh, wait, here's a girl... Jessica-"

"MMMMF MMM MMM!" Kyle flailed wildly and shook his head in a frenzy.

"Okay, okay. So we'll leave Jessica out of this," he ripped the gag off again, this time with a markedly lazier sense of care and gentleness, "so, Kyle, tell me what you want to do before you die."

"... I want to climb Machu Picchu."

"... Next."

"... Hug a bear."

"Nope."

"... I want a threesome. With girls. Two girls."

"... No."

"I always wanted to learn a foreign language."

"Are you kidding me?!" he pinched the bridge of his nose and flipped the phone in his hand, "how about I just call Jessica for you?"

"... Okay. Tell her I love her. Tell her I'll love her from beyond the grave...."

"... Kinda creepy, Kyle, I'll leave out the last part," the hitman punched away at the phone screen,

"Okay here goes..." the phone let out a faint ringing tone while the two men jerked upright, poised and tense. A female voice answered, an uneasy tone to her voice. "Hey! Jessica?... Yeh, hi, I'm here with Kyle... Kyle... You know Kyle?... You know, kinda dorky lookin', whiny... ginger guy... yeh, yeh that's the one! See, I was wondering, Kyle's about to die, yeh... and his last wish is to declare his undying love-"

BEEEEEP.

"Oh. She hung up."

"...."

The hitman sighed deeply and peered sideways at Kyle, now teary eyed and limp in posture.

"Alright, Kyle. Machu Picchu it is."